Our First Everyday Mother of 2012

Back in November of  2011, I wrote a post about an article I had read in Today's parent.  Here's the link to that post if you want a refresher.  Life got very very busy during the holiday season, so much so that this is the first time I have been able to sit down, reflect and actually write anything.  For that I greatly apologize. 

In this short time I have developed a friendship with a woman I have known for years.  We were initially colleagues though never worked directly with each other.  I saw this woman go through all 3 of her pregnancies, and with each one she always looked fabulous.  It wasn't until recently that we have become good friends, finding out that we are very much alike and having proclaimed ourselves soul sisters. 

About 3 years ago this friend of mine became a single mother.  I had heard through other mutual acquaintances about this happening, but having been through that once myself I respected her need for privacy. I knew her well enough to know that she was a fantastic mother, and no matter what was happening in her life, no matter how stressful, she was holding it together. 

This woman has been raising three children pretty much on her own, running a home, dealing with the presence of another woman in her children's lives who just so happens to be the reason her family was torn apart, handling a very successful career with a huge corporate 500 company in which she manages about 40 people and is greatly involved in her children's school community.  I see her in the mornings not just dropping off her kids but helping everyone Else's kids get into school safely. I saw her one morning saying goodbye to her son, they both fisted their hands, bumped fists and let their fingers float in the air, it made me smile.  I also have to mention before I forget, that she looks amazing all the time, even when she's comfy in sweats. 

Throughout the last three years, she has devoted herself to her three children and selflessly put any desires or needs she may have on the side burner as a respectful act to her ex-husband and the institution of marriage.  In her mind, until she is officially divorced she is still a married woman, therefore she respects that.  That is an amazing thing.  I know many may not understand it and even think shes being silly, maybe not moving on, but I don't see it that way. 

When we become mothers, good mothers, we are transformed into the most primal of creatures.  We protect not just physically but emotionally and mentally, even if that means we may lose ourselves giving up the things we need or think we need.  We look at our children and realize we need nothing else but their happiness, so we spread ourselves to the thinnest layer possible, when holes appear we patch them up usually without complaint.  (I need to add that I emphasized good mothers, because the truth is there are some not so good mothers out there, its just the way things are, I think its important that this post puts emphasis on the fact that we are celebrating good mothers, because there is a difference.  Its the world we live in, you don't have to agree with me, trust me I am the biggest rah rah rah cheerleader for mothers, but I ask that you recognize the difference)

What I see when I look at this woman is a strong, intelligent, loving and beautiful woman who approaching her 40th birthday has had more life experience and heartbreak then most people I know.  Sure, alot of people go through such things, she's not the first and she won't be the last, but most people don't deal with such a situation with the grace and elegance this lady had done so.  I believe that one of the greatest lessons you can teach your children is through example, if you project that things will be ok, that things are ok, your children will be ok.  Regardless of the situation,  love is the one fundamental thing that can make things ok, that can give you the strength to push through it.   Early mornings, sleepless nights, all the running around we do to get them here and there, getting the job done either personally or professionally all at the same day is all driven by one fundamental primal emotion........LOVE!

Now, mothers everywhere who may be reading this, please salute this amazing mother who we are celebrating as our first Amazing Mother of 2012, salute her so that your energy may cross through universal platforms, and may touch her in a way that says, "We see how amazing you are, it does not go unnoticed, and we don't know how you do it!"